Friday, March 23, 2012

Dealing with Grief & Loss

    In our society, we celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and promotions with little to no effort. We know how to congratulate one another, but rarely do we find ourselves with the right words to say when it comes to grief and loss. As Americans, we are often taught to keep negative feelings to ourselves and to sweep our problems under the rug. Because of this, it comes as no surprise that our culture has little patience when it comes to grieving. There is an overarching belief that “we should just get over it.”
     What many people do not understand is how grief and loss are not only attributed to the death of a friend or loved one, but can also be a part of many every day losses. These losses can include being laid off by an employer, breaking up with a significant other or moving to a new location. When dealing with an every day loss, an individual may find that his or her family members or friends are not as supportive as they need them to be, or are “tired of hearing about it.” They may begin to feel isolated and alone in their pain and not know what outlet to take.
Counseling can help the individual identify the loss as something they need to grieve, and the counselor can walk through that process with the individual in a way that friends and family may not be able to. Individuals need to be allowed to feel any pain associated with the loss before they can begin to move on. So while friends and family members may be encouraging the individual to “move on” or “get back on the horse,” a counselor can recognize the pain associated with the loss and help the individual process through it so they can move on when they are actually ready to.
            Everyone experiences loss in different ways, and something that may have a huge impact on one individual may barely impact another. Equally, everyone grieves in his or her own way. Counseling helps individuals understand that grief is a natural and healthy part of life, and that they are allowed to feel whatever they may feel, regardless of what our society may believe or expect.

Written by Nicole Brown, Graduate Intern